Memory Loss and Being Puzzled
by MelissaSueD
Summary: A one shot maybe one shot? from Eric's POV about the time he was cursed. DOES NOT FOLLOW ACTUAL SVM PLOT! Rated M for language and lemons.


**This is sort of my version of the time when Eric lost his memory. It's obviously not following plot. I wouldn't exactly call it AU… or OOC because well, eh. Anywho, if you've read Darker Desires you know I like to just take things and run with them. I'm intending this to be a ONE SHOT, but… as I started writing this I got major ideas for how I could keep it going a little. And when I finished my one shot I was a little sad at how I left it hanging. So I won't promise a TBC but I also can't say that this is only just a one shot. Anywho… I hope you enjoy my little deviation away from Darker Desires (p.s. new chapter over that way posted… and another new chapter in the next 24 hours… get excited!) **

**Like I always say… these are Charlaine Harris' masterful wonderworks and from time to time I like to jump in the museum and muss things up a bit like the bad girl that I am. **

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I watched her as she sat on the couch - knitting… crocheting… whatever it was. She was turning thread into some form of clothing or blanket. I was on the other side of the couch from her leaning against the arm rest, vaguely listening to what was on the television. How could I pay attention to something like a TV when Sookie Stackhouse was in the room? I couldn't quite figure out this small, blonde woman on the couch with me. Did she hold some kind of significance in my life? Did I hold her dear previously? If I were human, my head would be hurting now for all of the thinking I had been doing the past couple of days.

I'm without my memory. I have no clue who this Stackhouse woman is and why it feels like I'm home. She tells me we are nothing more than friends, if that. We apparently had some sort of business arrangement and I've helped her out of some tough spots before. The way she acts towards me is contradictory though. She claims we are just friends and business associates but with everything she does for me there is such a strong level of underlying care. Is she hiding something from me? Did I hurt her before? All of the stories I hear about myself from the one who is supposed to be my child, Pam and the other one… Bill, make me out to be this asshole who is only self-serving. Have I previously hurt and treated this Stackhouse woman poorly? If so, why is she taking care of me?

She continued to do her needle work as I watched. I could see the concentration on her face and I wish that I could read her mind. Maybe then I would be able to see pictures of myself as I really am. Being in this no identity limbo is the worst experience ever. But the funny thing is, I know I'm a vampire. I never forgot that fact. It's like all of these things in my life are a blank slate and I woke up on that road… but I knew I was a vampire. I knew I was not a human and I knew what I was capable of. My first instinct was to keep the girl away from me. But all she wanted to do was help.

Other than intrinsically knowing my vampire status, I had recollections of my human life. Actually, I had beyond knowledge of my human life. It's as if it were yesterday. Everyone tells me I'm over 1000 years old though. So everyone I knew and loved, my family, my wife, my children, they've been dead for a very long time. I grieved deeply for that loss even though it was in the past; it was as if it were happening all over again. For me, it was if it were. I feel like I've had too much life experience in a matter of days. It was exhausting and the day time rest was not enough to heal the weariness.

A sharp intake of breath that sounded pain escaped Sookie's lips and drew me out of my deep thoughts. Whenever I got to thinking too much lately, it always turned circular and never helped my situations. I moved closer to her side to see if she was okay and noticed she had accidentally stabbed herself with one of the needles. Blood was running down her index finger as I felt my fangs slip down fully into my mouth. I felt a little ashamed of my reaction. The entire time I had been staying with Sookie I had been drinking synthetic blood. Since I woke up on that road, I haven't tasted human blood. So technically in this new existence of mine, I've never had a human. I could smell her intoxicating scent and I felt my cock begin to twitch and harden. This was not a way to show the woman taking care of me gratitude, by jumping her bones because she accidentally stabbed herself while doing needlepoint.

"Shoot, I always manage to get myself every time. I guess I'm just a little fumbling in the hands department." She laughed and her nose crinkled up cutely. Then she did something I would have never expected. It caught me completely off guard. Sookie put her finger in front of my lips, "Can you take care of it for me Eric? I don't want to drip blood on the carpet if I get up to grab a tissue."

I reacted without thinking and grabbed her arm and wrist with both of my hands, holding her in place. Her finger was still in front of my lips. Her breath had caught in her chest and I could hear her heart beat hammering against her rib cage. I could smell her beginning to sweat; I could also smell other liquids begin to form underneath the lounge shorts she was wearing. I felt myself lengthen and harden just at the scent of her - her blood, her body, and her fluids. Even the loose pants I was wearing (apparently and appropriately called sweatpants) at the moment felt too tight for everything that was being held back.

I reached my tongue out to her finger tip and tentatively licked the blood at the start of the flow. I groaned deep in my throat and didn't think it was possible for my erection to get thicker, to be more aroused at the moment. I remembered the spiced wines we used to pull out for special occasions in the Great Hall during my mortal life; how delectable they tasted. They were full, heady, and made you drunk on their spicy and vibrant flavor alone. Those wines had nothing on Sookie's blood. I felt intoxicated by her and I wanted more.

I opened my mouth and made sure not to hit her with my fangs as I placed her finger all the way in and rested it on my tongue. I gently licked the blood that had trailed down to the base and sucked at the opening of her wound. She had moved closer to me and I could feel her body heat up against me. She was mewling softly and gasping. I let go of her wrist and arm and placed both of my hands around her waist. I pulled her forward and onto my lap so that she was straddling me as I continued to enjoy her bloody fingertip. I could feel how wet she was through her shorts. She undoubtedly could feel my hard length pressed against her. I did not realize I had closed my eyes while I was savoring her until she said, "Eric… look at me." Obediently I raised my gaze from her neck, to her jaw, from her full lips, to her cute button nose, finally resting on her fiery eyes.

She pulled her finger out of my mouth. I felt the loss of her essence as if she had stolen the most precious thing in my life right now. I had nothing to call my own… not even my own memories, and losing her life force was just another thing I was without. I groaned and pushed her hard into my hips, letting her feel how much I wanted her; convey how much I needed her. I was still staring into the beautiful deep blue depths of her eyes. I could get lost in them. She was as aroused as I. She leaned forward towards my face, never breaking eye contact, and captured my lips with hers.

And I thought her blood was the be all and end all. I would die my final death if I were told I could never have a kiss from Sookie Stackhouse again. She moved her lips slowly and tentatively at first, as if she weren't sure if this is what I wanted. Her lips had remained closed in these kisses, leaving much more to be desired. I could feel her hot breath against my mouth. I didn't think it was possible but I pulled her even closer to me so that she was flush against my body. She let a sigh escape and I took the opportunity to peruse her warm depths with my tongue. Sookie's tongue moved languidly against my, actually bringing goose bumps to my dead flesh.

We continued to slowly battle for dominance with our tongues as I lifted her, and myself, from the couch. I don't even think she noticed that I was moving down the hallway towards her bedroom, that or she wanted this as much as I did. This was not just blood lust for me. I just simply lusted for this woman ever since she brought me into her house. I truly believed that she and I were more than friends but she wasn't going to tell me the story. Perhaps I could thrust it out of her. Would this be our first time seeing each other's naked bodies? I would cherish this moment for the rest of my long life.

I kicked open her bedroom door and closed it a little roughly behind me. I heard it snap into place. Sookie legs were still wrapped around my waist. We both had far too much clothing on for my liking. I walked us over to her bed and gently placed her beautiful ass down onto it, making sure to run my hands across it as I slid her down onto the mattress. She was sitting there staring at me with unguarded desire. I had to have this woman multiple times tonight. She reached for me but I took a step backwards. A frown crossed her face. "No Sookie. This time I want you to look at me." I said to her and a small smile crossed her face as she understood what I meant.

I watched her lean back on the bed as if she were getting ready for a show. I brought my hands to the hem of my shirt, grabbed it, and ever so slowly pulled it over my head. I tossed it at her and she caught it with a whoop; that made me laugh. I ran my hands through my hair, down my neck, down my chest… pinching my nipples to make the hard, and then further down towards the waistband of my sweatpants. I could hear her panting. "Do you like what you see?" I lifted an eyebrow and leered at her.

She dropped her jaw a little. "Holy shit. Eric Northman IS really hiding in you. Don't take offense to that, it's just… wow… damn. Same naughty personality and everything."

"My dear…" I began as I ran my thumbs under my waistband and began to slide my pants down my hips, exposing the deep v that was cut into my stomach (leading to more promising places). "I lost my memory, not who I essentially was. I may not remember being Sheriff of Area 5. I may not remember my maker or my child. I may not remember getting from Sweden to this country. I may not even remember what we meant to one another, though I hope we'll make a few memories after tonight. But I am still me, Eiríkr Ásvaldsson, or as you people call me Eric Northman." With that last statement, I dropped my pants, letting my erection spring free. She let out an aroused shriek, bringing her hand to her mouth in shock. "I take it you do like what you see then."

I advanced upon her as she scooted back on the bed. She was not moving away from me but was rather centering herself in the middle, lying on her back, with her head on the pillows. I grabbed her shorts and ripped them in two from her body. She yelped, but she was not frightened. I could tell that aroused her even more as I saw her panties darken. I hooked one finger underneath those and ripped them clean from her body. I stared down at her thinking of all the pleasure I would give to that part of her, and how she would return it to me. I ghosted my hands up her hips, underneath her shirt and slid it off over her head. She was naked underneath her shirt. Her breasts were large, full, and the nipples were standing to a taut peak. I dipped my head down and tasted one, drawing it into my mouth, carefully not to bite her with my fangs. She let out a high pitched moan and started to squirm underneath my body. I was only touching her with my tongue, my body was hovering over her.

"Please." She breathed out.

"Please what Sookie?" I asked as I took her other nipple into my mouth. Licking gently around the tip and then teasing the skin around it. She began to lift her hips up as she gyrated. She barely grazed my member and I let out a hiss. I pinned her hands over her head and looked her in the eyes with a devilish glint. "You did not answer me. Please what, Sookie?" I lowered myself onto her body so that she could feel the weight of me. It pressed my hardness up against her sex briefly but slid up towards her stomach as I settled down on her. She let out a deep moan at that contact. I could feel how slick she was and I wanted nothing more than to slide deep inside of her. But I was waiting for her answer.

I started nibbling on her neck with my fangs, she began panting again. I licked the throbbing vein beneath my teeth and set a path up her jaw until I was by her lips. It wasn't necessary for me to breath, being a vampire, but I sent a stream of cool air across her moist mouth and felt her shiver beneath me. I whispered into her before claiming her with my lips "What is it that you want lover?" My kiss was nothing like what we shared in the living room. This time it was harsh and demanding, showing her in no uncertain terms that I would take her body to the fullest. Her poor little heart was beating out of her chest and I could feel it against my body through every pore of hers. I wanted to sink my cock deep inside of her. I wanted to sink my teeth straight into her vein and revel in the taste of her as I came. But she needed to say the word.

She broke our kiss by viciously biting my lip. It surprised me and drew a little blood that had quickly begun to coagulate. Even more to my surprise she flicked her devious little tongue out and licked it from me with a moan. "I want you inside of me." She said breathlessly. At that moment, I thought I wouldn't last a second. I let go of her hands that I still held above her head. She placed one hand under my arm, around my back… digging her nails into my flesh. The other hand she placed on my ass, gripping it tightly, also digging her nails in. Yeah, I wouldn't last a second.

I repositioned myself over her opening, placing the head against her clit and rubbing it in circles, getting her even more aroused than she already was. I slid it slowly down to her lips and slid myself inside. She was so wet than in no time I was fully sheathed within her. Sookie was so tight, then again I was not a small man. I just stayed there a moment enjoying the sensation of her inner walls on my throbbing member. It felt right being inside of her. Why did it feel right? Had I been inside her like this before? So many unanswered questions, but they were cut off as she began to undulate her hips against my pelvic bone. I could barely think as I felt her contract around me. Her clit was in constant contact with my body. That little minx was getting herself off on me without me even doing anything yet. I grabbed her thighs and put her legs around my waist so I could press even deeper into her. She groaned.

"I don't want you to ever forget this moment." I said to her as I pulled almost all the way out, the tip just inside her entrance, and then slammed back into her. Sookie cried out. I continued my long thrusts, pulling almost out, and then all the way back in until she was thrashing her head back and forth. I could feel her clenching around me as she had her first orgasm. Her nails had practically embedded themselves in my ass and back. I loved the pain and pleasure. I moved faster within her and at a different angle causing her to let out a stream of profanities and "Oh Gods!" as she came around me again. I wanted to change position. It was time for her to pleasure me.

In a move so fast she did not see it I had her on top of me, straddling my waist again, accept this time I was inside of her. I leaned back against the wall and gripped her hips as I grabbed one of her nipples with my lips. I bit into her breast with my fangs but only took a small amount of blood. She tasted like heaven. The moment I bit her she began riding me harder and faster, moving her hips in a circular motion. I could barely keep it together. This woman was making me come undone. Her hands were fisted in my hair. She pulled me forward and captured my lips in an earth shattering kiss as I felt her walls begin to clench around me again, that time it did it for me. I felt my orgasm building up, tingling low in my stomach. I pulled her back, away from my mouth, exposing her neck… she knew what was about to happen. "Bite me Eric. Bite me and come inside me please."

I didn't need a handwritten invitation. I sunk my fangs deep into her throbbing vein as I felt the pressure reach the exploding within me. I came hard within her as she was brought to her own orgasm. I continued to thrust deep and shudder as the last vestiges of my seed left me and into her. Sookie was breathing heavily and had collapsed against my shoulder. I held on to her as I licked the wounds from her neck. We just sat there for a moment, me still inside of her, silently enjoying our after sex bliss. When I felt her shiver a little bit from being cold I knew it was time to break our post-sex embrace. I removed her from my lap and shuddered at the feeling of no longer being inside of her.

Sookie began to yawn and I felt a similar sense of exhaustion and sleepiness. I glanced towards the digital clock on her bedside table and noticed it was very close to dawn. I would soon be dragged down into the daytime sleep of the dead. I pulled the covers of the bed around Sookie and tucked her in. She smiled at me and leaned her face towards me for a kiss. I couldn't help but to oblige. I stroked the sweaty hair back from her face and just looked at her, unsure of what to say.

"Eric, that was wonderful. I will never forget it. I hope you don't." She summed up everything I was thinking. I parted from her so that we both could sleep.


End file.
